The Relentless Hustle of Self Avoidance
I never realized how tired I am. Exhausted really. It’s not the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep can fix. It’s a to the bone weariness. A hit the wall full stop.
I’m not tired because I have too much on my plate. It’s not that. It’s the opposite of that if anything. It’s the giving up the idea, the belief, the identity that Whirling Dervish is the only way to be in this world. To be successful or accomplish anything.
The relentless hustle.
The never ending grind.
I feel deeply into my soul what a toll that has taken on me. The years of pushing. All I want to do now is stare out a window at the beautiful sunshine. Paint and draw and color. Create. Take long naps tucked into thick blanket cocoons. Move as slowly as possible. Drink really good coffee while surrounded by beautiful flowers. Just breathe. And Be.
I sense a collective fatigue in the women I know and work with. Perhaps you feel it too. The yearning to rest, replenish and restore. To bring the endless to do lists and schedules to a screeching halt. To burn them to the fucking ground, really. To stop trying to be and do everything with a smile on their face while inside they are seething because this is not living.
What if we start to redefine what it means to be a woman in today’s culture? What if we have the audacity to question how it is. Let’s go back to the time of Goddesses where women had not only permission but a responsibility to revere themselves.
What I know in my core is that this unraveling and surrender starts within. It begins when you decide that the grind is too high a price to pay.
I have this vision of women everywhere jumping off a cliff holding hands. A we fall, we spin feverishly and we laugh hysterically because we know we are letting go of the illusion of the relentless hustle. We are choosing freedom. Who’s with me?
Here’s what I want you to do:
Print out this journal page and journal for 10 minutes about what it would feel like to treat yourself like a goddess. What would you wear? What would you eat? How would you show up differently? How would you hold your body ? What would you give your time and energy to?