The Land of More
It starts with the quietest of whispers. The faintest stirrings of my heart. I feel my soul rise, rearranging herself because she’s restless and uncomfortable.
Oh no, I think, I know what you’re up to, I’ve been down this road before. The letting go, the releasing, the surrendering of things that no longer serve. I’ve done this so many times in so many ways. Cant you just leave me alone? I swat her away like a pesky mosquito.
She quiets and settles. Whew, she heard me I sigh with relief. Days, weeks and sometimes months pass. My life goes on under the guise of okay-ness. But she always returns. Always. Persistent. Insistent. Relentless.
MOVE. GO. NOW. BREATHE IT’S TIME.
But I’m fine, I hear myself say to her. Really.
She fixes me with a steely gaze and says with conviction: You were not built for fine. You were built for more.
She extends her hand, pulling me grudgingly to my feet. Follow me, she tells me. I don’t want to, but I have no choice really. She will come back for me again and again until I go.
MOVE. GO. NOW. BREATHE. IT’S TIME.
We are standing is an open field. It is completely dark, except for the fire. I hear a drum pounding, echoing the heartbeats of all my sisters who have gone before me, walked this unknown path even when they didn’t know why or did not think they could. I feel their collective energy standing with me and for me. They get still, steady and strong. They know what’s coming and they are ready.
I feel a gentle but firm tap on my shoulder.
MOVE. GO. NOW. BREATHE. IT’S TIME.
I step forward and the lioness in my heart awakens. From deep within emerges a guttural roar. A visceral, primal scream from the depths of my being that reverberates through the land. The Land of More.
NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NO MORE! ENOUGH!
I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS.
I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS.
I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS.
I WILL NOT EXCUSE THIS.
My sisters are unmoved, unyielding, unwavering. They know this rite of passage into yet another layer of connection with my self. They have witnessed this for and with each other. And now they have borne witness for me. They bow in reverence to the sacredness of the moment.
The fire goes dark. A shaft of pure white light slices through the inky blackness. It beckons me.
MOVE. GO. NOW. BREATHE. IT’S TIME.
I walk into the very center of the light. I let it wash over me, envelope me. It penetrates me and I feel every cell in my body soaking in the rightness of it. I cry. I laugh. I rejoice. I celebrate.
DON’T MOVE. STAY. NOW. BREATHE. IT’S TIME.
And so I don’t move. Not one inch. I anchor into the heart of my truth, the light reflecting it back to me a thousand times over. I root down into this beautiful place that I was not ready to see one second before I was ready to see it. Now that I an here, I don’t ever want to leave.
The Land of More is spacious, and there is plenty of room there for you too. When you have hit a point of no return in your life and are ready to draw a line in the sand. I will be waiting for you. Your sisters who have gone before you will be waiting for you to welcome you home. MOVE. GO. NOW. BREATHE. IT’S TIME.