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SQQQQQUUUUUEEEEE! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

It’s not almost my birthday or close to my birthday.

No- today is the actual day!

48 years ago on this very day at 7:28 AM I took my very first breath.

And ever since then, I have loved this incredibly special day that I came into the world.

The funny thing is, for many years of my adult life, I pretended to be lukewarm about my big day.  Wanna wish me happy birthday?   Ok.  Don’t wanna wish me happy birthday?  Fine by me.

I did not want to mention my birthday or bring it to anyone’s attention because what would they think of me?  Would I be arrogant and uppity for wanting the focus on me for a day?

And probably more to the point, I convinced myself that it would hurt less if I pretended not to care if people celebrated me or not.  Actually, that’s true of a lot of things in my life over the years.

Know what though? It still did sting and did not make me care one iota less. My denial of my heart’s true desires created a shadow that left me feeling resentful and unloved.  The hard truth of that is that I was the one not loving myself for wanting to be seen on my birthday!

So the past few years I have played more and more with owning the part of me that wants a big deal made of my Birthday. A Big Fucking Deal!

And this year, I am going to embrace her whole heartedly and bring her fully into the light!!! Here’s what she wants to say-

Celebrate me!  Acknowledge me! Remember it’s my day.  Adore me!  Love on me!  Bring me flowers!  Make me a card!  Bake me a cake! Text me, call me, FB message me, email me, Pony express me!  Wish with me, dream with me, be with me in whatever way you are called!

IT”S MY BIRTHDAY!!!  WOOO HOOOO!!  I LOVE THIS DAY AND I WANT ALL THE THINGS!!

Ok, maybe you aren’t going to bake me a cake.  But perhaps you can tell me…

What do I mean to you?

How have I touched your life in some way?

What do you most love about me?

What’s your birthday wish for me this year?

What are you most proud of me for?

What do you want to celebrate with me?

What do you most cherish about our relationship?

Or anything else you want to share with me- I’ll treasure all the celebrations dearly!

And even if I don’t get any, there is a giddiness to loving and acknowledging the pieces of me that want them regardless!!

For now, I’m going to get my hair cut and then I’m off to Asheville for a fun weekend!

Happy Birthday To ME!!

 

Wishing you all big, sparkly, magical birthday love,

Candace

 

 

 

 

 

 

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