I opened my email and there it was.
I read it. I read it again.
I felt my face flush. Her words stung. I didn’t want them to but they did. I tried to pretend like they didn’t but they did.
It was an email from a former client telling me she had blocked me on Facebook and unsubscribed from my mailing list because she was offended by my strong language.
I wish I could tell you that I am so evolved and enlightened that I just took it in stride and went about my day. I didn’t. My first thought was to apologize to her. I felt ashamed, the little girl in me thinking that she was in trouble and had done something wrong.
Like you, I am a work in progress.
I gathered some sisters and shared the email because that is what works when you feel ashamed. You name it and call it what it is so it loses power. I was invited to sit with her words and see if there was any truth in them for me. So I did. And here’s what flowed from connecting with my wild, feral self.
She told me that when you start to show up as who you truly are, people are going to leave you. They are going to be offended and not like it. Your initiation is to stand firm in who you are and what you know. To not dilute your message because then you are diluting yourself.
To be a leader and have a tribe, she said, you have to have people who align with who you are. Every cell of the unleashed you. Not some of you. All of you. And you need to resonate with them this deeply too.
You can’t be nice, placating or pacifying. Don’t change a fucking thing. People who are not in resonance with you are going to be terrified of your passion, your intensity will offend them. Your boldness and audacity will repel them.
They are going to want you to stay in your little box, to be palatable for them. To spoon feed them in easily digestable bite size pieces so they don’t choke. But that’s not why you are here. Your initiation is to refuse to cower in a corner. It is to stand up. To rise up with more and more fervor and vigor than you believe you have.
It is to be thunder’s roar and lightning’s strike.
To bring every ounce of you to the arena. Warrior Blood, Goddess sweat and ass kicking tears.
That is what it means to lead.
Be grateful for her. She has been true to herself. And she has also stepped out of the way. She has created space for another sister to take her place. And there will be others.
I got this email on the day I was going to publish my last blog, entitled Quit Fucking Around.
You know what. I didn’t change a fucking thing!
