Two powerful words I say to my clients ( and myself) all the time.
Just notice what it feels like to break a commitment to yourself.
Just notice the sensation of anger in your body.
Just notice what happens when you let others help you.
Just notice how you are speaking to yourself.
Just notice what a “yes” feels like.
Just notice that you are resisting having a difficult conversation.
Just notice you repeated that same pattern with your mother for the millionth time.
Just notice that it’s hard to breathe when you talk about your divorce.
Just notice that you feel uncomfortable when something good happens.
Just breathe and pay attention.
Simply noticing is a powerful way of telling ourselves the truth.
We can observe our experience without judging it or ourselves.
There is tremendous safety in noticing and witnessing ourselves do what we do.
Most often, people are unwilling to be honest with themselves because they believe if they see something they don’t like, they have to change it NOW. And by now, I mean yesterday. Which starts this whole shit pile of shame and self-loathing about how we can’t ever get it right and we always screw everything up when we can’t alter 40 years of patterning in 30 minutes.
I don’t know many people who can.
That’s the beauty of noticing. You don’t have to do a damn thing. You just notice. And you can hang out with the awareness as long as you need to.
There’s no urgency. You’re just observing. Watching. Being curious about yourself.
And if it feels too scary to notice yourself, notice your surroundings.
As in…. I notice there’s bird on the bird feeder.
I notice we are running low on food.
Stop there. Stop with the observation.
We humans are meaning making machines. It’s how our brains try to keep us safe.
But we are not great interpreters.
The observation is ” I notice we are low on food.” An interpretation may be “God, I’m so lazy. Why can’t I get it together to go to the store.” See the difference?
Curiosity and detached watchfulness trumps harsh self- criticism any day.
Noticing and objectively describing what we see gives us reference points to work from and portals of inquiry to investigate. Observations don’ t invite self loathing and condemnation.
Judgement and distorted thoughts do.
Remember, you can’t hate yourself into loving yourself.
So here’s your invitation. What do you notice today?