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Green Flags

I talk A LOT with my clients about red flags in relationships.

You know, those early warning signs that we tend to ignore because we want this to be our person SO BADLY? There are all kinds of reasons we do this, and if you want help teasing out what may be driving you to this desperation, reach out to me!

In the meantime, I want to talk about green flags.  Green flags are those qualities, traits and characteristics of a person or a relationship that are actually desirable and healthy. Let’s get started!

  1. Your partner has long standing friendships.  This is important because it shows they have the ability to commit to relationships for the duration and maintain a degree of loyalty., both of which will benefit you!
  2. They have healthy hobbies.  It is crucial for couples to have interests and pursuits outside the relationship.  It makes things richer and fuller and also lets you know they have their own life.  This means they are not going to depend on you for their happiness.
  3. They honor your boundaries.  If you are not comfortable with something they respect that and don’t push.  If you say no they hear you and seek to understand why it’s important to you.  People who blow right past your limits tend to see you as an object and a means to an end rather than a human being with personal preferences.
  4. They are self reflective.  They have the ability to look at themselves and their side of the street.  They will own what is theirs and attempt to course correct if needed.  If there is no introspection, they tend to blame you for everything that goes south.
  5. They know how to take care of themselves.  Whether this is through exercising, eating well, getting massages, therapy, etc prioritizing their well being means they come to you with a full cup.
  6. They encourage and support your growth as well.  They are happy that you want to take an art class or learn a new language or do something to lift yourself up.  They take an interest in what you are doing and help you how they can.
  7. They communicate their needs.  Sometimes this may mean they need time apart or space. It can be that they need your attention or care. Whatever the case, being able to tell you what they need means they have taken the time to get to know themselves, and want you to know them too.
  8. They can empathize.  This means they have the desire and ability to come into your world and see things as you see them.  This allows them to understand why you are hurt or angry or sad and they can lend an ear or be a shoulder if needed.
  9. They are growth minded.  It’s important to them to keep evolving as a person, with or without you.  They accept themselves as they are, and they want to continue deepening and stretching.
  10. They love themselves.  Of Course, nobody is going to be perfect at this.  But overall, they see their worth and value and know they deserve a good, loving partnership.  This is going to only benefit you because then they are less likely to demand that you prove their worth to them.  Instead you just get to enjoy each other!

It can be a tall order to imagine this kind of relationship if you’ve never had it.  The more work that you do to to heal your own wounds only increases the chance that you will receive it.  Let me know if I can support you in this process.

Much love,



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