Single Blog

Get Your Big But Out Of The Way: The Fear of Jumping

I hung up the phone and did a little happy dance. I had an amazing strategy call with a potential client, the kind of client I love working with She’s a motivated, insightful, introspective, determined scrappy survivor who wants more out of her life than just getting by. After a few laser focused questions on my end, and some soul searching on hers, she decided to take go for it and work with me for three months.

You might think I was doing the happy dance for myself because I had “signed” a client. You’d be wrong.
I was doing the happy dance for her.
Because she said YES to herself, to more, to expansion, flow, grace and ease in her life.
To stand for herself in a truly powerful way.
I was ecstatic for her because I know the life changing transformation she was about to experience as a result of our time together.

Fast forward two days.

I get THE email.
The one that says she’s been doing some thinking since our call.
She realizes that it would be a financial strain to work with me with me right now. And really this is not such a good time, as she has other issues she needs to deal with first.
But that she knows that we would be a good fit and would benefit greatly from my approach.
She’ll let me know when the other things get sorted out and then we can begin.

My heart dropped.

Not for me. For her.

Because she let her fear get in the way of her growth. Because she does not know that this leap is almost always followed by a retreat into perceived safety.

That’s why I’m writing this today. To let you know this expansion and contraction is part of the deal when you commit to making a big change. So you can know it’s coming and prepare for. So you can leap ahead anyway.

I am sharing an excerpt from my response email to her to show you what I mean.

I really believe that the work we do together starts with that first phone call. It’s a place where we get down to it and start asking powerful questions right away Our call was no exception! I also know that my role as a coach shifts depending on where my clients are. Sometimes, I need to be a soft place to land. And other times, I need to be the firm. strong guide that holds my clients accountable to their vision when they lose sight of it. This is one of those times where I am called to be firm and strong.

One of the questions I asked you was where do you want to be in a year. Your answer was you wanted to be at peace with yourself. I want you to do something for yourself now. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. I want you to imagine yourself as the you who is at peace a year from now. The you who is confident, who can trust her own judgement. The you who is decisive and knows the exact actions to take. The you who does not dread going into work, or getting “found out” The you who has such a solid core of who she is that nobody can take that away from you. Do you see her? Do you feel her? That is who needs to be making the decision about working with me right now. If you let your current experiences and circumstances dictate this to you, chances are really good that nothing will change for you.

I totally understand that you are scared right now. Your ego is kicking and screaming and doing everything in its power to talk you out of this because it wants to keep you safe. But here’s the catch. Your transformation only starts when you say YES to yourself and this work. There is no other way around it. There is a difference in literally not having the money, and having to stretch to have the money. In making that stretch is where you grow. It’s where you give yourself the powerful message that you matter, that you are important, and that you are going to be there for yourself in a way that nobody else has been there for you. There’s a reason you reached out to me at this time. I believe you are ready to take that leap. And deep down, i believe you know you are too. Trust that. Trust you.

Do you get it?

I have not heard back from her as of yet. I don’t know if I will. But what I do know is this: My words in that email are as true for her as they are for me and for you.

It’s OK to be scared. Jump regardless. Jump hard and fast and far! And get your big BUT out of the way!

Here’s what I want you to do:

Print out this journal page and journal . Think about who you want to be this time next year. Where do you live? Who is in your life? How do you want to feel? Get as specific as possible.
Do one thing that will move you closer to being that person today.


My RISE UP! in 7 Days is amazing if you want to Discover your Path To Loving and Honoring Your Sacred SelfRise Up_the course with Candace Folden

Whether you are brand new to the work of loving yourself, or you want to deepen into your journey, this is the course for you!

I designed it to directly address the 7 areas that most women need support with as they learn to create loving relationships with themselves.


Comments (0)

Solstice Counseling and Consulting Services, PLLC | 2012 New Garden Road, Suite E Greensboro, NC 27410 | 336.207.8921

© Copyright 2018 - | Solstice Counseling and Consulting Services, PLLC.