An Open Letter To My Clients
Dear ( Past, Present and Future) Clients,
All of you is welcome in my office.
Every. Single. Part.
The parts you love, the parts you are familiar with, the parts you want to celebrate and the parts of you that you believe should never see the light of day.
The you who is so fatigued from caring for your aging mother and watching her die by inches that you will feel relieved when she actually passes.
The you who drinks in secret and does not want anyone to know how out of control you feel.
The you who watches pornography and feels like you are are the most disgusting human being on the planet.
The you who is so starved for connection that you can’t wait until therapy every week because that is the only time you get it.
The you who wants to leave your marriage and feels guilty about that every day.
The you who has had an affair because you are too afraid to say goodbye the marriage that does not nourish you.
The you who has had abortions and wonders if you are being punished for that because you struggle to conceive a child.
The you who has thought about running your car into a tree because things have seemed THAT hopeless.
The you who knows you have WAY more to do in the world and is surrounded by people who tear you down instead of paving your way.
The you who binge eats Oreos and Ben and Jerry’s and feels so ashamed about how much food you can actually consume without feeling sick.
The you who does not want to admit how much you long to have a loving relationship in your life.
The you who answers “fine” whenever anyone asks how you are because you don’t know how are you are and even if you did you don’t think anyone would care anyway.
The you who is so anxious that you can barely leave the house some days and pretend to be ok anyway.
The you who has suffered sexual abuse/ assault and just knows that you are a a dirty, broken piece of shit unworthy of love.
The you who cuts yourself with razor blades on the bathroom floor because feeling the physical pain is the only way you know you are alive.
The you who despises every part of your body, especially your thighs that rub together, and avoids mirrors at all costs.
The you who is convinced that if anyone really knew you, they’d run away screaming.
The you who is so afraid to do anything wrong that you freeze and don’t do anything at all.
The you who feels stuck, stagnant, and dead inside but does not know why.
The you who does not want to take an anti-depressant because that would mean you are crazy like your father.
The you that secretly wishes I was your mother but would never tell me that because what would I think of you?
The you who secretly hopes that therapy will work this time because it hasn’t before and you don’t want to get your hopes up that you really can have a different life because it hurts too much if you can’t.
The you who is terrified to trust anyone at all, let alone a stranger like me.
Of course, there are more parts of you. Many, many more. And as our work together uncovers them, we will roll out a welcome mat, and invite them in for tea. We will create loving space for them to be held and nourished and related to with care and kindness.
And we will do all of this together, you and I. You are not alone anymore. I’ve got you.
Whether you have worked with me in the past, are currently seeing me, or will become a client in the future, remember-
All of you is welcome in my office.
Much love,
Candace