A client recently wrote me a testimonial. It was so well thought out and heartfelt that reading it brought me to tears. I wanted to send it out in its entirety as a stand alone blog. And then I began to doubt myself. That little voice that can still pop up in my head shouted ” Who do you think you are? You can’t put this out as your blog! Nobody wants to hear you bragging about yourself.”
Hmmmmm. How interesting. I sat on it a couple more days and then found myself on a Zoom call with one of my favorite teachers. Someone asked a question that had nothing to do with my ongoing inquiry ( so I thought) and my mentor started explaining the difference between humility and dignity and how they intersect.
What she said kinda blew me away. She described humility as knowing that we own nothing, we are not the owners of anything. Dignity, she said, is holding that what we do know comes through us in a unique way that it will not come through anyone else. And because that is true, it has great value. Both can exist at the same time.
Damn! Yes, that nails it. I do not own therapy. I did not create or invent any of the methods or skills I use with clients. I have not recreated the wheel with my approach. Yet, the way all of these things flow through me is particular to me, and can’t be replicated by anyone else. Nobody does therapy like I do therapy. And because that it true, my work has great value.
So it is in that frame that I am offering the the words of my client as this week’s stand alone blog. I am deeply honored to have walked beside her through much of her journey. I would be equally honored to walk through yours with you.
When I first started working with Candace, I did not need a therapist. I was already working with someone and was part of a women’s book study with Candace to complement that work.
A few months later things were shifting inside of me. Candace and I talked about working together and I started working with her every other week. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Candace has a way of challenging me, while pulling up along side me so I feel safe revealing truth and pain. One of the most painful truths I have worked through with Candace is my alcoholism.
I had been aware of and hiding my alcoholism for over half my life. Candace may have seen it in me, but she waited for me to open that door just the tiniest of cracks. Then she asked the questions and led me through a discussion to kick the door wide open. She shined a flood light on it. I remember feeling so vulnerable – like I was running naked down Main Street. Then Candace continued, telling me: You will be amazed at the coming changes in your life. You will not recognize the woman you are in three years.
I was sure she lost her fucking mind. But I paid for the session and as cheap as I am I was not going to waste that money. I executed the plan Candace and I created together. I have not looked back. I have been in recovery for almost 2 1/2 years. As I near the three-year mark she referenced what seems like a life time ago now, I am realizing how right she was.
While we are talking about it, I want to discuss the cost of therapy. I have heard so many people – especially women – say that they cannot afford therapy. Time with Candace is expensive, but let’s not kid ourselves that we did not spend the equivalent on jeans, shoes, martinis, purses, or other materials things.
If you are honest with yourself, you are scared. It is ok to be scared – make an appointment anyway. Invest in yourself. You will not be sorry.